State of the World Today
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER - (THE CLASSIC
VERSION)
The ant works hard
in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's
a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter,
the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food
or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
(THE MODERN VERSION, C. 2000)
The ant works hard in the withering heat
all summer long, building his
house
and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's
a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away.
Come
winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed
to be warm and well
fed while
others are cold and starving. CBS, CNN, NBC and ABC
show
up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to video
of the ant in his comfortable home with
a table filled with food. America
and
the world is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a
country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is allowed to suffer so?
Then
a representative of the NAGB (National Association of Green Bugs)
shows up on Nightline and charges the ant
with "green bias," and makes
the
case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism.
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the
grasshopper, and everybody
cries
when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Bill
and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS
Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather
that they will do everything
they
can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he
deserves by those who benefited unfairly during
the Reagan summers,
or, as
Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures of the 80's."
Richard
Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the
ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper,
and calls for an
immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." Finally,
the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity
and Anti-Greenism Act."
Retroactive
to the beginning of the summer, the ant was fined for failing
to hire a proportionate number of green bugs
and, having nothing left to
pay
his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper
finishing up the last bits of
the
ant's food while the government house he's in, which just happens
to be the ant's old house, crumbles around
him since he doesn't know
how
to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the
TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling
most of the ant's food,
they
are showing Bill Clinton standing before a wildly applauding group
of compatriots announcing that a new era
of "fairness" has dawned in
America.